pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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