I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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