I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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