It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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