i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
