Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize