So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
