Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
