you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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