Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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