It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
