I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
