you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
