dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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