So drunk its hurt
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
