batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
