He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
