Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
