Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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