Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
