my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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