Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
