i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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