I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Boobs speak an international language.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
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