Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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