sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Randomize
