I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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