Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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