That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
