Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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