she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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