guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
