i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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