do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
