You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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