Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
