You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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