i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
