Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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