you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
and she was petting her beer can
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
