He is an equal opportunity slut.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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