Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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