it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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