New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
