If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
