I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize