how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize