we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She announced her abortion via fbk
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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