I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
