i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Well I just put wine in my tea
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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