Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
