somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
