Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
