it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
smell my finger.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
