I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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