if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
