This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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