A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I need moral support for this bender
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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