Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
