didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
