I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
are you so shy because you have an std?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
