Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize