Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
