Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
