honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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