Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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