Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
