I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I cut my penus on the lid.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
