Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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