Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
