So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
