If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
there was a trapeze. enough said
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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