If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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