someone get that fucking seahorse.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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