He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
