He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
