If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
