The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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