worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
