I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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